wishing for change

Blogging has been a huge weight on my chest lately. I love blogging, and I love reading other blogs. I love seeing all your amazing, unique posts and just being a part of the blogging community in general. But lately I’ve just felt so “bleh” about blogging. I want to blog soooo badly, and I long for the days when I had so many ideas bouncing around in my head that I couldn’t write a post fast enough.

Now it seems like I just have nothing left to put into this blog, like my brain is just empty. I look around at all the bloggers who have been blogging for way less time than I have, but have gotten so much farther than me. If I’m being completely honest I am a little jealous of these bloggers. They have such conviction and work so hard at blogging. I used to be the same way, putting so much into this blog and getting so involved in the community. Now I feel like all the hard work I put into this blog was for nothing, that I’ve pretty much given up.

I guess another thing is that it feels like a lot has changed in the 3.5 years I’ve had this blog. A lot of the people who were at one point my really good blogging friends have left the blogging world. I adore all of the new blogs I read and the new friends I’ve made, but I also feel like I’ve lost a lot of the original connections I made when I started this blog.

A few months ago I was pretty sure I was going to shut this blog down, or at least abandon it. Right now I can’t imagine doing that, because I’ve put so much work into it and when it really comes down to it, I do enjoy blogging. I’m just feeling tired of sitting in front of my laptop, with absolutely no clue what to post. I want the things I post to be meaningful, and for people to care about them. I have ideas floating around in my head, but I when I actually try to write about them, it feels so pointless. Will anyone even care anymore? This blog has been going downhill for so long now… Is there even any point in trying to bring it back?

I look at my blog and I feel restless and frustrated. It doesn’t feel like me anymore. I’m desperate for a change, but I don’t know how to achieve it. I’m thinking the easiest way for me to change it right now is aesthetically. But then I worry that if I put even more money and effort into this blog to completely change the look, what if I then find that even that isn’t enough and I’ve done all that for nothing?

If you’ve made it this far, then 4 for you Glen Coco! You’re probably tired of me complaining, but I was sitting in front of my laptop trying to convince myself to post something, and I asked myself, “What do you want to talk about Chloe? If you could post about absolutely anything…”. And this just felt like the most important thing right now.

I don’t know if anyone is even going to read this, or really going to care, but I’m glad I posted it. I want to say that you should expect big changes ahead, and I can’t wait to get back into the blogging world, a million exclamation points, etc. etc., but in reality I’m not sure how (or if) I’m going to get out of this slump.

  • http://www.writingwhimsy.com/ writingwhimsy

    I saw a link to your blog on Sarah (Workaday Reads) page and decided to stop by! I am way less involved in book blogging (ie: hardly at all) these days but I am glad you are still at it! I remember when I was first reading your blog and I was so impressed and couldn’t believe how young you were and how thoughtful your reviews were. One day I randomly sent you that book (All These Things I’ve Done) and I know we had swapped books maybe at one point, I can’t remember why but I know you sent me the Number The Stars and I sent you Lipstick Laws I think. It was a lot of fun and feels like a billion years ago! Anyway obviously I have seen more recent posts and know that you’re still at this, so I am glad to hear that and I hope life and everything else has gone well for you these past few years!

    inthenextroom.blogspot.com

  • Pretty Little Reader

    It’s virtually impossible not to compare yourself to other blogs, but like Aylee said, I think if you can remember why you started blogging and let the rest fall to the wayside, you’ll be much happier for it.

    Hannah from So Obsessed With started off her year by listing what she wanted more and less of from 2014, and I’ve made that my manifesto for this year. I didn’t set concrete goals, because I don’t want to be disappointed if I don’t reach them, or discouraged if I feel like I’m not on pace to complete them. Instead I spoke to what I was hoping to do more of (blogging for me, personal posts, interactive discussions) and less of (feeling guilt, putting pressure on myself, requesting ARCs when I’ve got enough books sitting unread to get me through the next year! haha) and if I can say, at any point, that I’m doing more or less of any of those things, I can feel successful. It’s only been about a month, but so far I’m not feeling a lot of the pressure I used to put on myself, to have x amount of pageviews/day, or x amount of comments on a post.

    And if you need to, take a break. Again, it’s only been a month since I’ve been back to blogging, but taking the extended hiatus I did was one of the best blogging decisions I’ve ever made. Good luck, with whatever you decide to do! πŸ™‚

  • http://recoveringpotteraddict.blogspot.com Aylee

    It’s hard not to compare your blog to other’s and it’s natural to get jealous. Ultimately though, I think bloggers are happiest when they are blogging for themselves and what they love to blog about and not feeling pressure by comparing themselves to others. Easier said than done, I know! I’ve been working on it for years now and I get down from time to time when I see how consistently awesome some blogs seem to be, but for the most part I’ve been able to let go of the stress. Actually, I needed to let go of it or else I would have given up long ago! If you really feel burnt out, then that’s too bad and you will be missed. But try to keep in mind that the people who read your blog must be content with it if they are subscribed and reading it! Take breaks, post when you want and what you want, and I have a feeling most of us will still be here to read it πŸ™‚

  • Tiff

    I’m a big believer in not feeling bad about not wanting to blog – blogging is hard, and sometimes it feels like, as Augustus Waters would say, “a shout into the void.” I’m always shocked that people are listening and that people do care. But they do.
    I do. I think you have a beautiful blog and a great voice, Chloe.

    For me, when I get in a slump, I try a few things – going away for awhile, reading a totally different genre, or re-reading my favourites. And knowing that you’re blogging for you in the end really helps, too…

    That said, don’t push yourself to blog. I take a lot of breaks when blogging feels too hard or like too much. Read what you can, blog when you feel like it. I feel like my best blogs and ideas come when I’m not trying too hard to force it – that’s when I have my most passionate and honest posts, and the ones that really speak to people.

  • http://www.nosegraze.com/ Ashley Evans

    I really know what you mean about not being around your old friends from when you started blogging. I haven’t been blogging that long, so I’m not in the same boat for the blogging community. However, I felt exactly the same way with a “community manager” job I had.

    When I started working, I made friends, and then we continued to be friends for a few years. But after about 3 years, those friends started to resign one at a time. Soon, no one from my original group was there except me. There were all these new faces I didn’t know and couldn’t seem to get “in” with, because the new guys tended to stick together and I was just an old fart. I felt like I didn’t share that same connection with those people, or it just didn’t feel “right” or “the same”.

    So I know it can be tough and hard to stay motivated. But it is possible to break back into the community! I eventually managed to do it. I had to stick my neck out there and make a serious effort to connect with people. Eventually I found my new place among that new group of people, and it worked. I hope you can do the same!

  • http://bookbriefs.blogspot.com/ Michelle@ Book Briefs

    I totally understand where you are coming from . Sometimes the bloggers seem to make it all seem so effortless. And its hard to come up with great and new ideas. I have days and weeks where I can’t seem to think of anything good. I have been wanting to make some changes around my blog too but I have been so busy in real life that I havent been able to make a game plan for it.

    I think you just have to try and not compare your blog to anyone else’s. You just have to do what works for you and makes you happy. You never want blogging to feel like a chore. It’s much work, that if its not fun for you, it’s not worth it.

    If you ever want to talk, vent or just make a new bloggy friend, shoot me an email πŸ™‚

    Michelle @ Book Briefs

    • Chloe (YA Booklover Blog)

      Real life definitely gets in the way of blogging. And you’ve captured my thoughts exactly – some bloggers make everything seem so effortless, just like you said, and then I look at my own blog and it feels like I have to trudge through 5 km of mud just to write one post. I don’t know if that makes sense, but it seems like the most accurate description right now.

      Thank you so much for your comment, and don’t be surprised if you hear from me in the next little while : )

  • Jessica Buike

    I totally understand how you feel – been there, done that many times! πŸ™‚ But I feel like this is an outlet that I don’t want to lose, no matter how busy my life gets or how few people might actually read my work. Who knows, maybe someday you and I will get famous and then people will look back and say they knew you back when you were just a blogger! πŸ˜‰ I linked to this post in my blog today because I thought it was worth sharing with my readers, hope you don’t mind: http://authorjess.blogspot.com/2014/02/snooping-around-sunday-blog-lovin.html

    • Chloe (YA Booklover Blog)

      I think all bloggers (or at least most of us) go through some kind of blogging slump. But then the question becomes, is it so bad that I could give up blogging all together? Right now, for me, the answer is no. Just like you, blogging is a huge outlet that lets me express my thoughts and it’s been such a big part of my life (as weird as that may sound) that I can’t imagine truly letting it go.

      Thank you for the comment, and a double thanks for the link at your blog!

  • Denise

    Chloe, I’ve been following your blog since it first began… first in google reader and now in feedly. I recommended the Georgia Nicolson series to you on goodreads years ago, and it made me so happy every time you read another one of those books. πŸ™‚

    I am a huge blog lurker and hardly ever post, but I just wanted to let you know that it’s okay to feel this way. I follow a lot of blogs on several topics, and I can honestly say that the ones I enjoy most are the ones who don’t force themselves to post on schedule. Sometimes I actually stop following blogs just because there are too many posts. We all have lives outside of the internet, so it can be overwhelming to try to catch up on what you “missed” by living more offline than online.

    What I’m trying to say is, if you want to write, write. If you aren’t feeling it, no big deal. There are posts that show up in my feedly where I can’t remember the last time that blogger posted, but I’m always glad that they are back, even if it’s only once every few months.

    Our interests and goals change over time, so don’t worry about forcing something that isn’t there, and don’t worry if your blog changes from what it started out as. Sure you started as a book blogger, but if this becomes a lifestyle blog, that’s great too. Even if you do stop blogging, this is kind of like a scrapbook of part of your life that you can look back on. We all change as we get older–it’s natural for a blog to do the same.

    • Chloe (YA Booklover Blog)

      It makes me smile to know that you’ve been reading my blog for so long. 1. Georgia Nicolson is the best, most hilarious series ever. I don’t think I got through one of those books without a solid laugh. Sad I finished the series but now I can start Rennison’s next series! Georgia’s cousin!!

      2. You’ve encouraged me a lot… I’m happy to hear that you still read posts from people who aren’t very consistent. Forcing myself to post is something that I’ve gone through in the past and I hated it, so my motto lately has been to just let things go the way they go, and if I feel like posting then great. But if not, it’s not a big deal.

      3. I also love what you said about changing and getting older, and the blog changing too. When I started this blog I was still in elementary school, and now I’ll be graduating high school in a year. I’m definitely a lot different than I was when I began blogging, and my interests as well as responsibilities have certainly changed.

      Basically: thank you so much for your lovely words of encouragement and sticking with me for so long πŸ™‚

  • MonaG

    Hey Chloe! It just seems like you hit a temporary slump. I’m sure every blogger has experienced this at one time or another. You wrote that there are bloggers out there that have been around for less time than you and have gotten much further and that you’re jealous of their conviction.

    Well, it’s likely bloggers felt the same about you when your blog was new. Every blogger has a real life outside outside of blogging that influences how much time they are able to devote to posting.

    You have a full schedule right now with school, work…There is no rule that compels you to post at specific intervals. Your loyal followers will stick with you no matter whenever and whatever you post πŸ™‚

    • Chloe (YA Booklover Blog)

      Hey Mona! Hope you’re well πŸ™‚

      Yep, definitely a slump. And real life definitely has a lot to do with it. Like I mentioned above, I’m a different person than I was when I started this blog, and I want my blog to reflect my new interests and thoughts. Work and school take up way more of my life than they used to, and as a consequence I don’t have as much time or energy to devote to blogging. I hope that as time goes on this blog continues to grow and change into something that I love like I once did.

      Thanks for your encouragement πŸ™‚ Also, thanks for being one of my most loyal blog readers (and Goodreads pen-pal, ha!).

  • http://www.pages-of-forbidden-love.com/ Alexa Pages of Forbidden Love

    I often feel the same way lately. I have been blogging for over three years as well and a lot of the original people I once talked with are gone and that is really sad. I still like my blog though and I do like to connect with the community when I have time. Sometimes I wonder if it is worth keeping my blog but then like yourself I figure I put over three years into something that I should stick with it. I still love reading and blogging but I guess there are just a lot of people who are getting burned out with it right now.
    So think about what you want to do and then make a decision. Even if you decide to stick around and then leave later on in the year that is what you decided and it is what is right for you. Geez now I’m tying a novel.
    Good luck on your choice.

    • Chloe (YA Booklover Blog)

      I’m glad I’m not alone, but I’m sorry you feel this way too.

      Just like you, I often feel like quitting, but like you said, I’ve committed over 3 years to this blog, can I really just quit now?

      I’ve definitely seen a lot of people leaving blogging lately, which makes me sad, especially when a lot of those people are the ones that started their blogs around the time I did (and you!).

      Thanks for the lovely comment. I hope we both find our place in the blogging world soon πŸ™‚

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